Story of S

This woman was a friend who originally came to me to talk about balancing her hormones. I ended up asking her about sexual abuse and she confessed having spent a good six months in the rape crisis center ('I'm alive because of them' she told me). At this point I brought her into my studio and told her about my art and the process I do. Offering it as (free) service if she felt it would help...

We ended up working together late into the night about a week later. There was whisky, there were tears, there was laughter, and there was story telling. Her story was rough. Really rough. She wrote all over the canvas first in gold ink- starting with a family tree (the abuse went generations back), and evolving to things she had felt, things she wanted to say, etc. With that foundation laid, I then worked on her painting for three days straight. It was intense, dark, beautiful stuff. Almost puked three times just from whatever it was coming from her through me. She brought in sacred items to help anchor the space while I painted and we both felt a huge relief when it was done. At one point I felt it could either be covered in white or swamped in black. Held my breath a day and waited for the shift in her to be clear. In the end the white won, but as with her, there were layers and layers to the story. Dark, brilliant, bloody, triumphant. *exhale*

Story of CS- as told in her words

The following post written by C.S.

This is me. Well one expression of probably about 17. And the extraordinary being who created this painting is my dear friend Ranier Wood. Artist. Angel. Supermodel. Activist. 

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After paint-sitting since last December, about a month ago, I decided I wanted to own her and this part of myself. My erotic power.

Anxiety consumed me. Imposed ridiculous pressure on myself. I fretted over telling Ranier. Why? Because I also wanted to use her campaign as a platform to tell my family about it and ask for their love, support and monetary contribution as birthday presents in owning this part of myself.

The other day my husband and I dined in a local Mexican restaurant. I looked up and noticed a framed photo of a delicate light-infused papery tomatillo husk. It bore an uncanny resemblance to the golden seed pod/caged wings of a painting in my dining room. After dinner, I took a photograph of it amused by the literal sign from the universe that I am of this earth and it is safe to be me.

We walked about half a block and we heard someone running towards us. We thought we left something in the restaurant. A man approached us and asked if he could take a photograph of us. Surprisingly, we simultaneously posed for this stranger as he stated, ‘Don’t worry I won’t post this on the internet.’ Laughing, I inquired why he felt the urge to capture us. ‘Honestly’ he said, ‘you two are good looking and I want to remember it.’

I mention that scenario because I spent most of my life hiding, being invisible, feeling unworthy, less than, and uncomfortable in my own skin. For the past three years, I have been diving deep within myself releasing shame and trauma, cycling through various iterations of death and rebirth, dancing with my darkness and light, and seeing my beauty and learning to own my divine worth. And now I am seen and heard.

Last year, I suffered multiple ruptures. First a car crash. Then three successive sprained ankles. Topped it off with a compressed spine from dropping a piece of furniture on my head. All that happened as a result of denying my self-expression and self-acceptance.

Ranier’s powerful work has been instrumental in my evolution. Cellularly changed me. Literally. 

Did you notice the heart in the painting? This past summer, after a variety show I created and performed in, a tiny heart-shaped beauty mark emerged next to my fading birthmark on my thigh.

And if you look just to the right of the heart in the painting, there is a figure with arms outstretched on a stage in front of a crowd. That’s what I always imagined when I looked at the painting. Because my deepest longing was to be a dancer.

And now I am.

The incredible JiJi Wind captured it best when I received my applause. In her photograph, it looks like I am flying.

Thank you for seeing me".