The subject is actually a (fitness) client of mine and is someone who has been through a lot of trauma. When we did the Witnessing sketchings both paintings that came out had empty white space where the pussy was. I asked if she had ever been present in her pussy. She said only with herself. She has NEVER told a man how gently she needs it and often thinks about her taxes etc when having sex (for example). She has had four marriages and currently lives alone.
The painting was physically uncomfortable to paint. It started out with the white lines that made me feel like her pussy was bound. Ugh. Then some sweet pink and then I started this gold stuff that ended up looking like a boot print, like she had been stomped on. Yeesh. I had to take a break.
I started feeling like I'd really lost my knack and didn't know what the fuck I was doing (this happens a lot when I paint, but was particularly acute this time). But I've done enough of these now to know to just keep painting (and breathing) and trust the process.
In the end it became this wild ethereal cosmic thing. I also realized talking to her later that the process mirrored parts her life story. For example, when she was young, a doctor had made her undergo a traumatic (and unnecessary) vaginal surgery (thus the bound stitching lines), and later when she started to develop her sexuality and femininity it was stomped down, (thus the boot). Wild how this work works.
When I came to the end I sat looking at it for a long time. I didn't know if it's 'good' or not but decided it didn't really matter. What matters is that a woman reclaimed a part of herself long neglected and was truly seen. And I got to be there for it. Whoa.